runtoryrun.com

What is on your box?

I was reading a discussion on a weight loss message board the other day. One woman wrote in asking how come some people seem to not be happy for your success as you lose weight. Many people shared a lot of ideas behind the fact that while we get many people in our lives who really encourage us, there are always a few who seem to be on the other side of that fence. Some start out encouraging, but end up so uncomfortable with our success that they can't hide their jealousy.

I've thought a lot about this because in the years since I started my weight loss journey I've had a variety of responses. Most people have been encouraging. Some people have almost been encouraging to a fault...putting my success up on a pedestal. The danger there is that if you put me up on a pedestal, it's too easy to think YOU can't reach that high.

But there have been a few who have had a very difficult time keeping their unsolicited opinions to themselves. So why? I guess I've figured it threatens them.

I think people put us in a box. They expect us to stay in that box. They label the box and they like those labels. Those labels are comfortable to them.

My box used to have the following labels:
-The fat girl
-The smart one
-The one who never says no
-The easy to be around one
-The non-threatening one
-The "great personality" one
-Meek
-Low self esteem

As I lost weight the labels started to yellow. It was okay for awhile. They were all still there at first, but as time went on they faded. A few started to peel at the edges.

At first everyone looked in the box and encouraged me. Way to go! But it was almost as if a few of them dropped in hollow words, while they affixed glue to the edges of the labels "just to make sure they stayed."

As I moved through the journey the labels fell off one by one (even, to be honest, some of the positive ones).

"Now wait a minute!" some people said with that startled "Deer in headlights" look. "Where do we put you? We don't have a box that fits you any more!"

A few of them tried to force me back in my box. Some did it with overt jealousy. Others did it with subtle hints, "Oh come on, you can eat that. You’ve lost the weight." they'd 'encourage.'

Others weren't as subtle. They'd tell me to stop losing weight. Stop working out. One person told me that since I'd been on "that diet" I was moody and cranky all the time and no one liked being around me.

Time and again they put me back into the box and I'd leap back out. No way! I'm not going back in there! Sure, it's roomy and has a nice view from below everyone else, but I don't LIKE it in there.

So now I'm no longer in a box. I wear my labels with pride on my person and I change them when I want to. My new labels read:
-Healthy
-Health conscious
-Sexy
-Athletic
-Funny
-Driven
-More likely to say "no" because my family and I come first
-Smart
-A risk taker
-Bold
-Zesty

(I particularly like zesty.)

What does YOUR box say about you?