They Call Them Mellow Yellow
Don't be Blue!
You've Got to be Seen Green
You Want to be Red, Fred!
Applesauce
4 Servings
I'm Breaking Up with my Magazines!
I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to break up with some of my magazines.
One of the ways I relax is to grab my favorite magazine, fill Pinky (my deep, porcelain on steel, clawfoot tub in my insanely pink bathroom) with bubbles, and soak for an hour reading. I read a variety of magazines, most of them fitness and health oriented. But I've found that lately, instead of making me feel better about myself, they're making me question whether our relationship should continue.
It started last month with a bikini issue of a magazine devoted to women and fitness. It promised that even I could have a bikini body. The pages were full of empty promises and photos of swimsuit models with flat tummies and abs. Now I guarantee I work as hard at my fitness as any of those girls do, but I won't ever have a bikini body...no matter what my magazine whispers in my ear...not even with these five belly-fat blasting moves! My longsuffering husband sat and listened to me rail that this magazine, rather than making women feel better about themselves, was doing just the opposite! After all, according to the pages, EVERYONE can have a bikini body...everyone, that is, EXCEPT YOU!
That was the first magazine to get the boot. I didn't need to be reminded every year that everyone, except me (and about 80% of the female population) can have a bikini body.
Then last month I got another magazine that promised to let me in on a few secrets that were giving away my age. "Okay," I thought, "I'll bite!" So, feeling pretty darn good about my 44 year old size 2/4 body that has carried me through 33 marathons, and can still garner catcalls from "Woo Guys" on a sunny, I sunk into Pinky ready to make sure I wasn't wearing white after Labor day or some other egregious sin, decrying that I was not YOUNG but was, indeed MIDDLE AGED.
By the time I was done having the conversation with my beloved magazine, I was sure I needed laser resurfacing on my face, Restlin stuffed into my horrifying smile lines, poison injected into my forehead, and an eye lift. Wouldn't it just be a lot cheaper to invest in a sturdy paper bag to spare society the sight of my visage?
Into the trash went THAT magazine.
Today I grabbed a magazine all about women's fitness and started an article about how women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s could have their best bodies. A minute-old harbody showed me some great moves to tone my abs and buns. I read, always eager to learn more about how I could take this amazing body from my 40s into my 50s looking and feeling my best.
Instead I got the literary version of a condescending pat on the head ("Hot mama?!" Some of us 40-somethings actually are NOT mamas). Then I read that, like it or not, I was going to gain weight, but even though I certainly wasn't ever going to get back what I might have had at one point, I could still get some results from these moves (if they let me out of the Home, and I didn't break a hip in the process).
So that's it! They are all gone! I'm sticking with my gender-neutral magazines from now on! No one tells Lance Armstrong he could use some Botox (but I'm betting someone might mention it to Dara Torres). After all, I have enough self doubt as it is without a magazine adding to it.
So magazines, and you know who you are, consider our relationship OVER. Go abuse other women because I'm through being your punching bag. Or better yet, how about helping ALL women feel strong and confident where they are, helping them to reach their goals, without cataloging their flaws.
Flying Trapeze Class
Yes! You read that right! I flew through the air with the greatest of ease…well, kinda.
About a month ago I saw a groupon coupon for flying trapeze lessons and in my usual way, I squealed, yelled out “Roy! Can I take flying trapeze lessons?” while clicking “buy” on the link.
Once I got there and looked up at the little tiny bar hanging from the ceiling, and the big net underneath, I gulped. What in the cuss had I gotten myself into? I was the one who, while trying to help Roy put up a sat dish one time, got so scared at the top of the six
foot ladder that I couldn’t climb down. Instead I climbed onto the overhang roof and squeeeeeeeeeezed my over 200 pound body through an attic window, leaving long bruises all over me because I was too scared to climb down the ladder.
So this was going to take some guts. The second thing is, I was never one of those girls who did the penny drop perfectly. I tried. I so wanted to be one of those cute acrobatic girls who did perfect 10 lands on the Lakewood elementary playground…but that was SO not me.
The first thing we did was practice one round on a low bar. Jump up grab the bar, swing, bring legs up and over the bar, let hands go, arch back, grab bar again, then come off doing a flip (well we’d flip on the real bar). Oh yeah, this was NOT going to be pretty.
It wasn’t…I couldn’t get up on the bar at first (I am very short, it was high above me) but did it the second time. Rather than let it shake me, I decided I’d watch others do it, let my mind go free, listen and try and if worse came to worse, I had a new experience. Oh well.
When she asked who wanted to go first for the real thing I stepped back. There was a whole group together and I was the only single, so let them go first. So of course she grabs me..damn. I just let my mind go, relaxed, followed directions. They belted me up, I climbed a ladder that was probably 30 feet in the air. Remember, six feet scared me once. Eeek!
Okay, hand over hand..just relax…climb climb don’t look down. Don’t look up. Just climb.
when I got up there the guy (Dave) unhooked me from the safety hook. We were up on a metal stand about the width of a metal bleacher seat. I held on while he hooked my belt to safety ropes on either side. He used a hook to grab the bar and pull it towards us, then he had me hang on with my left and reach out with my right to grab the bar. Scary! It was further away than I expected and it was also heavy! Then he said, “Now reach out with your left.” Uh, how do I do that without falling? Oh wait…he was hanging onto me. I said “Are you sure you have me?” He assured me he did. I reached forward, being held onto by the guy, and grabbed the bar. I tried to remember what she told me…bend knees, hips forward, he’d say ready, and then “Hep” and I’d literally push off into the air.
I did it! Soon I was flying through the air, hanging from the bar. She called out “Bring up your feet” so I did and hooked my knees over the bar. She yelled, “Now let go!” I did and was hanging, “Arch back!” I swung back, arched my back and looked at the other bar behind me. “Okay hands up” I grabbed the bar with my hands. “Feet down” I brought my feet off the bar so I was hanging again, and finally “On the next swing you’re going to swing forward, back, forward then flip” she called out those commands, I tried by my back hurt so I didn’t get enough swing so instead of doing a back flip I kind of fell forward. The safety ropes allowed her to lower me down carefully into the net (kind of like rapelling into the net) and I was done! SWEET! It was awesome! I crawled to the edge of the net where she told me to lay on my tummy and do a front flip over. Nailed it! Perfect 10! (Okay, maybe not.)
Everyone else took their turns. Most did great. Some were nervous and missed their cues. I couldn’t wait to go again.
The second time I hit every cue and did the back flip! Woo hoo! We did it one more time with a goal to hit our timing PERFECTLY and if we did then we were ready to catch. That meant that the fourth time we’d do the same routine, but when we came down hanging from our knees we’d arch back, arms out, and Dave (who was no longer doing the one role) would catch us from HIS trapeze. We’d swing back with him and then jump off, landing in the net in a sitting position.
I wasn’t positive I could do that because that meant not only having trust in the caller (the great girl on the ground calling and controlling the safety line), and the guy on the platform, but now having faith that another guy would catch me in mid air!
But hey, I was game for a try! Did it almost perfectly! I was THRILLED! It was so freaking cool! Roy videoed the entire thing and after each one I’d watch with amazement that the person who was climbing the ladder and executing these moves with (seeming) confidence was ME!
We had time for one more catch, which was awesome! My second one I think was pretty close to perfect (for me). It just went like clockwork and I felt like I could keep doing that all night (if I wasn’t getting blisters on my hands). It was SO cool!!!!
The workout part is really core and upper body. It does take a lot of core control and the strength to pull yourself up as well as to hang from the bar. I was surprised at how heavy the bar was (I’d say about 25 pounds) and how heavy I felt hanging from it. If I were going to train to do this I’d definitely work lats, shoulders, traps, deltoids, and grip. Fortunately I have been doing that in the bootcamps, so I was strong enough. I know that if I’d tried this before I got fit (even if I was smaller) it would have been a lot harder. There were people breathing pretty heavy when they got off the net!
I think the other thing that surprised me is that I never was very coordinated, so I was amazed that I was able to execute it so well the first time. Not, I’m sure, that I looked like a pro or even remotely close to that, but rather that I was able to actually DO each thing without falling or slipping or misjudging the distance.
That was just so cool! The last time I got to go as I was climbing the ladder I thought “Remember all of this because you may not do it again, and even if you do it won’t be like your first time.” and then I prayed a prayer of thanks that I could do it, that I had the opportunity, that I had a husband who loved me enough to let me (even if he thinks I’m crazy) without argument or pressure, and that I’m healthy enough and confident enough (things I have NOT been in the past) to say “I am going to give it a try and so what if I don’t do a great job!” The old me would have been on the sidelines watching OTHERS have fun. The new me watch from the sidelines? No way!
Now I am off to join the circus (or at least P!nk’s Funhouse Tour).
Workout:
- Type: Other
- Date: 01/30/2010
- Time: 15:30:00
- Total Time: 2:00:00.00
- Calories: 573
Coaching marathon group
Coaching marathoners! Another fun group. Could Saturday get any better!? We did 5:1s and some people thought they couldn’t run six miles, and they DID! LOVE IT! I am SOOOO proud of how well everyone did today. Another awesome group. Way to go Kim and Melissa who signed up to train for a 10k and ran 6.3 miles today…10k, in the bag. Half marathon? Marathon? I’m thinking YES!
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 01/30/2010
- Time: 09:24:59
- Total Time: 1:14:07.45
- Average Heart rate: 120
- Max Heart rate: 143
- Calories: 310
- Distance: 6.33 miles
- Average Pace: 11:42.9/mile
- Max Pace: 9:00.23/mile
- Ascent: 419.79 ft
- Descent: 408.14 ft
Coaching 5k Group
Coaching my wonderful 5k class! What a fun group! It’s so inspiring to hear people’s stories. Two of the ladies in the class are parents of former students (both of whom were awesome kids and are now amazing men). I am LOVING it! I am so blessed to be able to run with these people. Corny, I know…but that’s me!
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 01/30/2010
- Time: 08:09:32
- Total Time: 00:54:54.87
- Average Heart rate: 119
- Max Heart rate: 149
- Calories: 155
- Distance: 2.59 miles
- Average Pace: 21:12.08/mile
- Max Pace: 8:06.49/mile
- Ascent: 221.79 ft
- Descent: 287.9 ft
Mukilteo Speedway to Harbor Point
Not a great pace today, but oh well. Decided to run after work from work towards Harbor Pointe. I love Harbor Pointe, but getting there means running alongside Muk Speedway and it is ugly, stinky, and noisy. Did learn some good stuff while listening to an audio book, so that’s nice!
Run was a challenge. I think two days of bootcamp, one body pump with extra squats, and one zumba along with four days of running in the last four days, has left my quads tired. Not really injured…just tired. Ankle is also off and on cranky.
But I’m not complaining. Warmed up by mile four and the last two felt great. I found a few little tiny trails…not worth seeking out again, but a nice surprise to stumble upon. I even ran in a tank top. It was a bit chilly for a tank, but too warm for my jacket. Still felt good to get some air on my pasty white arms.
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 01/29/2010
- Time: 15:17:22
- Total Time: 1:06:12.84
- Calories: 613
- Distance: 6.33 miles
- Average Pace: 10:27.18/mile
- Max Pace: 8:29.12/mile
- Ascent: 755.07 ft
- Descent: 734.07 ft
Short run on treadmill
Had so many errands after work today I didn’t get time to go out for my run, which is a bummer because I originally wanted to do a trail run. Instead I got in a treadmill run. Not what I wanted, but oh well. My ankle was being cranky so I decided to call it at 2 miles since I planned to meet a friend at Zumba!
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 01/28/2010
- Time: 18:00:00
- Total Time: 00:20:20.00
- Calories: 172
- Distance: 2.02 miles
- Average Pace: 10:04.03/mile
